Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
I first met Jacklyn when she was a little girl. I had moved to Jacksonville and became friends with Becky and Shitter through mutual friends. (and still thankful for their friendship today). We would meet almost every Sunday to ride four wheelers, mostly meeting at Shitter & BR's. Some of my most favorite memories were of those Sunday rides. Jacklyn would almost always be there and many times riding behind me-holding on tight-laughing-making up stories-causing mischief. Or her and Randi would meet us at one of the houses when we all returned and make up dances and perform for all of us.
One of our favorite stories to tell "back in the day" and later as she turned into an adult was when I would drive BR & Shitter home from a party or from Site M in Cass County. Jacklyn would either be with us or waiting for us at home. She would beg & beg for me to spend the night with her. I couldn't say no so I typically would stay. I remember giggling along with her silliness and she gave me first glimpse into what being an aunt would be like. There were also nights that she would cry in my arms and tell me about her dad. How much she missed him and how unfair it was to grow up without him.
Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
Jacklyn loved teasing people. We were fishing one day-not something I typically did nor knew how to do. Jacklyn was a tom boy and knew how to hunt, fish, all the things. I can still hear her laughing at me for being such a terrible fisher person. In her loud voice: "I give up. I can't help you. Vicki, you kind of suck at this." She wasn't wrong. There were also times that I would have to "relieve" myself outdoors when a restroom wasn't around. She loved teasing me when the wind was blowing in the wrong direction and Id come back with wet ankles. She wouldn't let me live it down.
Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
Jacklyn loved being the center of attention. She loved telling stories-most of them either telling on herself or one of us. She loved being loud. She loved laughing. She loved being ornery. She loved the beach. She loved a good cold drink & loved serving others a cold one. She loved animals. She loved flipping people off. She loved music. She loved her momma. She loved and missed her dad. She even loved Shitter. ;) She loved her family. She loved her friends. She loved Warner. She loved her Jeep. She loved hugging. She loved Florida. She loved so much.
Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
It was fun when Jacklyn was little but I think it was even more fun as she became an adult. Having a beer and adult conversation with her was always fun, sometimes in appropriate but fun. One of the last gatherings we were at-I think we could have talked for hours. She was so proud to be a mom to Warner. She was also proud to work at North. Those conversations would come up often. Everyone knows my love for our little North School family so to have Jacklyn there telling my kiddos how she was friends with their mom would always hit me in the feels. Full circle moment knowing that I use to hug on little Jacklyn over 20+ years ago and now she was there with my littles about the same age she was back then.
Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
You know where you stand with Jacklyn. If she loves you, she loves you hard and loves you forever (or until you do something bad to her or her tribe). You knew and could actually feel her love you. She was loyal to a fault. She had a huge circle of friends from all over. She made friends easily and quickly. If she didn't like you, well.....you knew that too. She never held back, always told it like it was-even if you didn't want to hear it-the good & the bad.
Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
This is where it hits the hardest. I have a lot of memories of and with Jacklyn-too many to share, some I want to keep close to my heart. But this is where it hits the hardest-this is where I miss seeing her the most. Almost every morning & afternoon for the last two years-this is where I would see Jacklyn. In this little doorway, ushering in/out the babes of North. Rain, snow, hot, cold-she was there. I would sometimes get a smile, sometimes a hello, sometimes just a "Jacklyn look" that maybe she hadn't quite woken up yet or that she didn't have the best of days, sometimes a quick hug. This doorway is where I expect to see her in the mornings. In the afternoons, this is where I want her face to be the first to walk out that door. Instead-its a few tears and a sucker punch of what's missing every single day.
Jacklyn Sue. This can't be real.
From the painful moment of hearing the shocking news to right now typing this-it doesn't seem real. The heartache that your death has left can't be formed into words-not now and not sure ever. My heart has not hurt this bad in a long time. I hope you knew how much you were loved. I hope you know that we will all take care of Warner and your beautiful mom & Jim. I hope you know the stories will continue to be told. We will still laugh at all the stupid things you did and said. I hope that the first hug in your dads arms lasted forever and was exactly as you had dreamt of for so many years. I hope that you are enjoying the most delicious ice cold cocktail, laying on the most beautiful beach, laughing and telling stories with your dad in the most beautiful heaven.
Jacklyn Sue. It has to be real or it wouldn't hurt this bad.
Jacklyn Sue.
I will love & miss you forever.
Someone once told me: You may not have got to spend the rest of your life with them, but they got to spend the rest of their life with you. Although heartbreaking-there is beauty in that.
