What cha thinkin' bout?

Ever wonder what people really think of you? I may be asking for more than I want BUT sometimes I really wonder what people...friends....strangers....parents....think of me. Not just as a whole...but would like to know that too. But in certain moments, after I say things, when I enter a room, when I leave a room (and how different the two are). Do you really think I'm funny when I tell a joke, do they think I'm stupid, annoying, looking like I just crawled out of bed, wish I would shut up, that I'm a know it all OR that I am hilarious, that I am kind, that I'm a hard worker, that I'm fun to be around or COMPLETELY AWESOME all hours of the day? Just curious...if you feel like telling me (hurtful or not)...I'm willing to listen without judgement...well until you leave the room! BAAAHAAA!!!

Savoring The Day

I am writing this post with a heavy heart today. Its been heavy since Tuesday, August 28th. Please do not admit me to a home after reading this...even if you truly believe that's where I belong.( LOL!)
I have been following the most AMAZING blog I have ever read for several months now. I can't even tell you how I came across it. (devine intervention I suppose). But I have never in my all my life in any way, shape or form-been more inspired by someone. Someone here on earth. And (the reason I may  be admitted) NEVER MET! I had no clue who this woman was but I do now. Is it possible to have a "best" friend that you have never met? I know so many things about her. I know her birthday, her anniversary, her children's names, her husbands name, I know that she was born overseas, her parents did mission work, she is a physical therapist. I know that she has always dreamed of being a writer. (I think she is now qualified as one-she is an AMAZING writer). I know where she lives, I know where she goes to church.I know she has had some really bad days in her life. I know that she lost her daughter Anna (on her wedding anniversary), two weeks before she was to be born. I know that she was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer (on her birthday). I know that this woman has more faith and belief in the Lord than any one single person I know. I know that she has not only inspired me but THOUSANDS of people across the world. Yes the world. So I guess many people may feel this way-that they have a best friend in her, although have not physical met her. She has pushed me to be a better person-a better Christian. She has put so many things into perspective for me. She has made look at simple things in life in a whole new light as well as the Bible and God himself. I otherwise would not have read a simple Bible verse and interpreted it they way she did. I have grown to hold a special place for her in my heart. I did not want to tell people that I was reading the blog of an "unknown" woman. It sounds crazy. But I think God has other plans. I think He wants people to know about this amazing woman. He wants me to share her story with you. Please, please, please go to her CaringBridge site and then later to her own blog. You have to go in order from oldest post to newest to get the whole story, to really get to know her and get her message...God's message. I am sure without a doubt, that you too will make friends with her. I know that you will gain at least one thing from reading her stories. (although I know it will be many many more!) It will take time...it's like reading a book. Please read her book. Her trials were the death of her daughter and dealing with cancer. But she makes it very clear that we all have trials-all different. But you can look at the things she says and does the same way. She makes you think about today...not tomorrow. She says numerous times that yes she has stage four cancer and could die tomorrow....but someone healthy and no cancer could also die tomorrow. So let's all live like we are dying.
Below are just a few of her writings that really reached out to me. Her writings are so real and true. 
I have also attached the link to a YOUTUBE video that she presented to her church. (But please still start from the beginning of her story). God was working through her. SAVOR THE DAY!
http://youtu.be/I8AshaJQTIk (this the youtube video)
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarawalker (start here..oldest post first)
http://www.savoringtheday.com/ (you will end up here..be sure to click on all the tabs for more inspiration)

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I am falling in love with Jesus.
I want to sit with Him, talking to Him, listening to His Word, ALL THE TIME and I am frankly getting impatient for heaven so I can see Him. 
I thought I loved Him before. 
I was raised to know Him, raised to pray in His name. Raised to think of His sacrifice during communion. Raised to appreciate His suffering. 
But now, now...oh what joy He brings! Oh how I can just see, just SEE Him sitting beside me, holding my hand, smiling at me. I see Him laughing a big, boisterous, tear-inducing, belly-shaking laugh along with me when my little Scott does something funny (which is every day.) I imagine us in heaven, sitting with our feet dipped in the river of life, listening to the birds sing and feeling a cool breeze on our faces, talking and just enjoying the view. I imagine then noticing the holes in his hand and crying, sobbing because He had to do that for me, and Him wrapping His arms around me, wiping away the tears and saying, "Oh, Sara. It was my great joy to suffer for you. You were so, so worth it."

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This is why I feel constrained on this site. In this place on the world wide web, I am defined as "The Cancer Patient." I am the young mother with colon cancer.
But that is not who I am. I am a child of God, temporarily residing in this world, in this time, in this body until I go to my true home, my forever home. So this body has cancer. So? I'm getting rid of it soon!
[Take a pen and make a small, one-inch line on a piece of paper. Now just under it, start another line and draw it all the way to the edge of the paper. Then attach another piece of paper and continue your long line across that whole sheet of paper. Keep adding papers, until your long line stretches across your whole house. The first line, the one-inch line, that represents your life on this earth. The second line represents PART of your eternal life. Do you have a mental picture?]
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Lord Jesus, Hold me in your arms. No, better yet, bring my face just inches from yours, gently cradle each side of my jaw, and fix my eyes on You. Keep them there. In your strong gentleness, do not let me turn my head even one fraction of a degree to the left or right, to see the wind or the waves. I want only to gaze at You. You are real, all else is passing away. You are real and true.     

EXCITEMENT!!!

I see her twisting her head around the corner...yep there she is. Her eyes light up when she sees me. The look in her eyes is of pure joy-like its the first time she has seen me. Like she has been waiting all day for me. She has no care in the world. It looks as though she has no worries, no problems, no heartache. Just pure happiness. Pure happiness to see me. She is literally EXCITED to see me. She claps her hands, flaps her arms on her knees and sometimes looks as though she could seriously jump up and down. She opens her mouth wide and smiles that beautiful smile. She reaches her arms out to me and I can't get to her fast enough.   Yep, that's my crazy mom at the door picking me up from daycare....
Love, Mallory

Looking In The Eyes of Love

"Looking In The Eyes Of Love"

I wonder should I tell you

`bout all the crazy things I've ever done

I've been searching all my life

And when I should have stayed

I tried to run

I was searching for an answer

In a world full of strangers

But what I found was never real enough

Now that I've found you

I'm looking in the eyes of love

Darlin' you've been good to me

You are so much more than I deserve

I never thought that I would find

Someone who's so sweet and kind like you

Please believe me when I say

This time I won't run away

I swear by all of heaven's stars above

Now that I've found you

I'm looking in the eyes of love

[Chorus:]

Looking in the eyes of love I can see forever

I can see you and me walking in this old world together

Lord my heart's found a home

I've been dreaming of

Now that I've found you

I'm looking in the eyes of love

Three years ago I married my best friend. Never in a million years did I ever think my life would be the way it is today and I'm so grateful for that. When I was younger and imagined and dreamed about my husband, family, job....it wasn't this. THIS IS MUCH BETTER!! No I will not sit here and tell you that Mick and I have a perfect relationship because we don't. We fight, we argue, he annoys me but I love all of it. I would rather be annoyed by him sometimes than to not have him at all. We fight but seriously we make up just as fast. We always say we love each other and kiss each other goodbye and goodnight. (cheesy I know) He makes me laugh more than anyone and knows exactly what I want, how I feel, what I'm thinking by just looking at me. That is love. He doesn't send me flowers, he doesn't take me out on romantic dates, he doesn't light candles by the bed, he doesn't buy cards but do you know what he does do. He takes out the trash so I don't have to. He wakes up early to make Mallory's bottle so I can sleep that extra ten minutes. He mows so the dust doesn't bother my allergies. He helps me carry in groceries without asking so I don't have to make as many trips. He lets me have that last breaded pickle that he knows I LOVE. He hangs out with my family...even when I'm not around. He doesn't complain when I can't get dinner going because I'm busy with Mallory. He puts the food away while I do dishes so I get done faster. He lets me watch my tv shows...even though he secretly really likes them too. He winks at me from across the room. He pumps gas for me when we are together-even when I'm driving. He lets me hog the covers. He brings me water to bed because he knows sometimes I get thirsty and doesn't get upset when I don't even touch it. He watches Mallory so I can go to my mom's group and likes it. He comes out to help water the garden with me because he knows I need help so the hose doesn't smash the plants.He gives Mallory a bath. He makes his own cards and notes which are original, funny and some of my most favorite treasures. Those are just some of the things I love. Those are the things that matter and are romantic to me. Those are the things that make me realize that if I did anything right in my life...it was marrying him. He also gave me my daughter. Some of the most gratifying moments I have had have been watching him and Mallory. I haven't been moved to immediate tears very many times in my life...but since she has been born it happens all the time. I am not only grateful for her but grateful to have a husband that truly enjoys doing things with her. I love watching them together. It honestly melts my heart...then the tears. He changes her diaper, her rocks her, he gives her bath, he feeds her, he plays with her...on the floor. He takes her for walks, he lets her explore, he snuggles her, he misses her when she's gone. One night I was changing her diaper before we went to bed. She woke up so I let her snuggle in our bed for a moment. She rolled over to him, crawled up under his arm and snuggled him without a movement and fell asleep. He had his head or hers and it was the most peaceful moment. I knew right there that life was good. This is what God had planned for me and I couldnt' agree more. Then I cried. Mick said it best the other day. "I think we are pretty good parents. It's a nice balance...you let her do things, I don't and I let her do things that you don't....the perfect balance." Yes he is the perfect balance for me. So three years ago when I said "I Do" I never thought that in three short years that we would have moved out of the Greenwood house to the country. I never would have guessed that same house would have to be gutted and I would live in our dining room for over a year. I never would have guessed that all that headache, mess, tears, dust would have made for some of the best memories and has truly brought my husband and I closer. I never would have guessed three years ago that I would have a beautiful eight month old daughter who is the light of not only mine but her daddy's eyes. I never would have guessed that having a child could bring you so much joy and really put life into perspective. I never would have guessed that too could make me love my husband even more. So honey....this post is for you. I love you more and more every day. Yes some of those days you make me want to scream but I still love you more and more. I wouldn't be who I am today without you. You make me want to be a better person. You make me happy. You make me excited for our future. Thank you for all of the memories, for the hugs,for the tears, for the kisses, for the fights, for the laughs....I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. You are my best friend. You are a wonderful husband and a wonderful father. Here's to many more....

"Feels Like Home"

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms

There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street

And a siren wails in the night

But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

Sniffle...Sniffle

Ever have a headache so bad it actually makes your eyes hurt....that's what I have today! Feel like pooo.....

 

Teeth & Tomatoes

Mallory got her first tooth last Tuesday. I could not believe it! I knew it was coming in because it was red and sore but Tuesday morning when I saw it pop through...I lost it! I CAN NOT believe my little girl has a tooth! Seriously...she can not grow this fast!!!
Along with this precious tooth came quite the nightmare. Mallory was not feeling well...actually she acted fine but had extreme diarrhea. (Good thing she isn't embarrassed by this yet). She also had a slight temperature. So daycare of course couldn't keep her so daddy stayed home with her Thursday and Friday. It is SO nice that Mick is willing to do this. I can't complain about him! Well, actually I can...lol! He did things with this girl that I wouldn't have allowed if I was home but they had fun and no damage done. What did he do with her...oh didn't make her take a nap, fed her a full apple, took her on the four-wheeler, gave her french fries. You know, the typical good cop behavior! lol!
I really didn't mind-again I'm just glad that he is willing to stay home with her and have fun with her and have her try new things.
She also went to her first parade. First parade in...watching instead of being in the parade. SHE LOVED IT! She just smiled at the kids and vehicles. I thought the sirens would scare her as they were quite siren happy but nope...she just smiled and got excited! Her and Lane were so cute in their strollers and of course Grant was just sweet as pie. He really loves Mallory and it is adorable to watch.
I spent the weekend canning tomatoes for the first time. I dreaded this at first because one I have never canned in my life and had NO CLUE on what I was doing. But once I started and got a few helpful hints from a dear friend...I was on a roll. I made spaghetti sauce, salsa and diced tomatoes. I think I have about 25+ jars so I will mark it up as a success and honestly can't wait for more tomatoes to rippen to do it all again. I guess that is farm living at it's best!
Speaking of farm living...it was a blessing to live in the country on Saturday night during the meteor shower. I was home alone and thought why not? I looked up online what time and where to look and out I went. It was bit chilly so yes I had a hoodie on and my blanket and looked up and saw two beautiful ones right away! So I stayed out there and just kept seeing one and another. It was top five one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. It was very eye-opening and made me reflect on how great and wonderful our God and universe really is. It takes peaceful moments sitting in your backyard with no lights, no sounds but nature and falling stars everywhere. Although my address is no longer in Adams County....LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Post From Mallory

WI can crawl. Fast! I like to stand. I will crawl fast only to get somewhere where I can stand, especially mom and dad! I love my puppies and kitty cat. I pull their tail, poke them...and they don't mind. I am about to get my first tooth...or teeth. I have my two bottom teeth just about through. So I of course drool everywhere and like to chew on anything I can get in my mouth. I really like to eat. I eat all fruits, vegetables, meats, crackers/snacks and even my medicine. It's yummy and tastes like grapes. I love being around kids and watching people. I love my daycare. I barely sleep during the day because I don't want to miss out on any action. I have loved watching the Olympics. Nor sure what all they are doing but sure do like watching them run around everywhere and the cheering. I love to dance. Daddy dances with me alot and mommy acts goofy every day. I try to dance to the music but can't do it as well as daddy. I like to make faces and be silly. I also like to mimick mommy when she talks. I said "momma" to her the other day. Not sure why but she screamed real loud, hugges me and kissed me ALOT and then started crying. Not sure what that was about so I thought I would say it again later and this time daddy did it. Weird right? I am seven and a half months and have gone the longest time period without an infection! YIPPIE! I love going for stroller rides and attended my first county fair with Momma Ham, mommy and Cassie. I liked watching the people, the animals and the rides. I rode the carousel and had a blast. Can't wait till next year! I am getting really long and growing fast. At least that's what everyone keeps telling me. I can carry on quite the converstion with myself. I still sleep all night (probably because I don't sleep during the day). hee..hee..I'm starting to notice when mommy leaves the room at night. I don't like it and cry until she comes back. Then she snuggles me till I fall asleep. I have her tricked! again hee..hee..Daddy pretty much lets me do anything I want but only when mommy isn't looking. I like playing with my cousins and have quite a few friends at daycare. Mommy likes to tickle me and she has found my tickle spots...under my arms/sides, my neck and my inner thighs. I do not like when I have to get in my car seat but I do like it when mommy cleans out my ears. I do not like getting lotion on but like it when 

mommy combs my hair (which is getting very long). I sometimes get fussy when I don't go to bed on time but mommy says that's not my fault. Speaking of...must go to bed...have a busy day tomorrow at daycare. Have a great week!Love, Mallory Jo 

PICS!PICS!PICS....yep and more PICS!

 Hey everyone...ready for bed? I don't think so!

 Alot of the grandkids and great grandkids with Grandma Barry

 Yes, I am hanging out of my car seat!

 Get on buddy..I'll give you a piggy back ride!

 Okay Lane...take this and SHAKE IT!

Mallory: This is my dance space and this is your dance space!

Lane: Yuck...you're all wet and slobbering EVERYWHERE!

Even more pictures...!!

Wearing Papa Ham's hat! Go Cardinals!

Getting caught climbing around my crib!

Happy girl being silly after church in Walmart!

I was a little mermaid in the baby contest!

PICTURES! PICTURES! PICTURES!

Happy 4th of July!

Look how big I look?

Again, mom thinks its a good idea to take outside pictures in a HEAT ADVISORY DROUGHT! 

So I guess I will entertain her for a bit with my cuteness!

Now watch this...I will stick my tongue out every time she wants to take a picture...now that's cute!

Look at this face!

Blah!

Happy Happy Girl!!