Sitting here tonight and can not stop thinking about my life, my past, my future...Think its just been one of those emotional days and my mind is on over load. I think back just even 10 years ago and how different my life is...for the better. I feel like I have truly found myself and happiness within me which in turn has led for all my relationships to have grown stronger/happier as well. I feel so blessed to have the people in my life that have not only been there for years and years but for new friends and relationships as well. I wish I could explain to all of these people individually how much they mean to me and how happy I am that they are in my life. I wish I could tell them the ways that they have helped change me and the happiness they bring to me. I can try...but there are no words. I think becoming a mother has truly changed my way of thinking and emotions...especially towards other parents...especially my own. There is no way to describe the love I feel for Mallory and the understanding of how I know now the way my parents feel about me. I can't even put into words tonight explaining the emotions I feel right now. And for my sisters and my friends...they have seen me at my worst of worsts and yet still pushed through...still believed in me and still loved me. I feel like I am a completely different person that who I was just 10 years ago. Meeting Mick has also shown me the true meaning of love. He makes me a better person, he reminds me to laugh, he helps me remember the important things in life and to let all those "small rocks" go. I feel that God has brought all of these people into my life for a reason. I think I had to go through all the bad times and being at an extreme low to start climbing back up and realizing the important things in life and what true happiness really is. To learn how special relationships are. I use to think that going out was the most important thing. Now I could care less...my family is what is important. Making memories that will stay with me, is what matters. Having Mallory smile at me is what gets me through my days now. Watching Mick cuddle her up in his arms and her just stare back into his eyes. Those are the important moments in life. Calling my mom on the phone knowing that just talking about absolutely nothing makes me smile. Hearing my sisters laughter and making memories with their children and hearing them say...:"I love you Aunt Bic." That's what matters. And to all my friends....priceless. I have tried so hard over the last few years to stay away from negativity and people that will bring me down and it truly has paid off. The people in my life that want to be happy...stayed....those that didn't like who I was becoming have gone their separate ways. And that's okay. There is nothing wrong with that...it just means two different people are finding their own way in life and it just happens not to be with each other.
So thank you to all of the important people in my life, to all my friends who remain just that, to my parents, to my sisters (and brother-in-laws...lol), to my parents and to Mick and Mallory.
Thanks and hope you all find or have found the happiness you have been searching for.
True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions. - Joseph Addison
"God Gave Me You"
I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made
a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be
But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
Gave me you
There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
He gave me you.
